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"I"m royally danged!"The King that the Hill price quotes Page: "Bobby Slam" Click right here to return to the Main price quotes Page quotes from "Bobby Slam"Written through Gina FattoreDirected by chris MoellerPEGGY: ns told she you were liven "wrestling" with some indigenous problems. (laughs) Oh, Peggy!DOUG: Why choose basketball? Well, for one thing, it"s the only sport wherein you acquire to bounce a ball. Bounce a football -- that"s a fumble, isn"t it? Baseball -- no bouncing at all. Bounce a round in hockey -- that"s a mandatory medicine test appropriate there. So sign up with the basketball team. Thank you.PEGGY: us are providing you girls a special program that combine the thrills of wrestling with the skills of basketball, in other we contact "General Sports."BOBBY: Dad, guess what? i joined a team!HANK: A sporting activities team?BOBBY: Uh-huh. Wrestling. It"s the finest sport ever, Dad! There"s no running!HANK: method to go, young! Wrestling"s a damn fine sport. Hell, it"s one Olympic sport! and this is readily available through the school, isn"t it? no some guy in a van with a camcorder?DOOLEY (waiting external the principal"s office with Peggy): What space you right here for?PEGGY: Well, Dooley, a pre-teen girl is choose a skinny small tree around to go into the hurricane of adolescence. And also if we don"t protect and also nurture this small tree, before you recognize it she"ll it is in bitter and pregnant. For that reason, I"m asking the major for a brand-new basketball because that the girls.DOOLEY: i peed in some kid"s locker.PEGGY: Hank, what if Bobby to be a girl?HANK: Well, that"s simply it, Peggy, ns don"t think we need to worry around that anymore.BOBBY: friend didn"t use actual wrestling. If you use real wrestling, it"s impossible to gain out of the hold.CONNIE: maybe sports wasn"t such a great idea. Possibly I need to do yearbook instead, or chess club.PEGGY: Connie, don"t you speak that. Yearbook is a shameful, squalid garbage of time.PEGGY: title IX the the Civil legal rights Act clearly prohibits sex differentiate in publicly schools, and guarantees equal athletic avenues for every boys and girls.COACH: Yeah, well, Roe vs. Go doesn"t apply to my wrestling team.CONNIE: Dad, maybe being ~ above the wrestling team can help me gain into Harvard. Remember just how disappointed friend were through my application essay? You said my an initial draft short life experience.MINH: She right. Connie pat violin, sculpt with metal and speak three languages, however what collection her apart?KAHN: I assumed being smart person in Texas collection her apart. KAHN: If my girl doesn"t wrestle, I"ll show you who placed the sue in Souphanousinphone!COACH: This every goes ago to location IX, cock Nixon"s biggest mistake.HANK: It"s every well and good to talk around equal civil liberties until some male loses his job. Exactly how is the equal?BOBBY: Yeah, and also it"s worse as soon as they take away our favors, "cause we"re provided to acquiring them.BILL: Now host on, Hank, I"m every for ladies wrestling, except when they carry out it in pudding. That"s just demeaning come the people who make pudding.DALE: Ever due to the fact that they hosted that large women"s conference in Beijing, co-ed sports has actually been the number-two priority on the international feminite agenda. Desire to understand what the number-one priority is? Co-ed bathrooms. It"ll it is in a cold day in hell before we institute that in the Gribble home.HANK: I assumed you were busy teaching girl to blow up basketballs. When did this turn into a desire to damage wrestling?PEGGY: Oh, give me a break. Ns don"t watch how having actually a girl top top the team would destroy it. Did a woman judge damage the supreme Court?HANK: Yes, and also that woman"s surname was Earl Warren.PEGGY: Connie is picking up the bat that was ripped the end of my hands together a little girl by that small man native the tiny League. But Bobby -- Bobby"s my just son. I don"t recognize if I deserve to choose.MINH: choose Connie.PEGGY: yet Bobby"s my just --MINH: That not my problem. Choose Connie.PEGGY: Oh, what carry out I do? What perform I do?MINH: pick Connie. Select Connie.DALE: wrestles a girl. That"s a tough one, Bobby. If you win, you gain the shame of having actually beat increase a girl. If girlfriend lose, friend just much better hope she breaks your neck. That"s the quickest way.BOOMHAUER: Yeah, man, talkin" "bout you"re danged if girlfriend do, danged if girlfriend don"t, man.BOBBY: Dad, what am i gonna do? I"m danged here, I"m royally danged!CONNIE: can we please just forget I ever before said anything about this stupid rings thing?KAHN: What? No! ns go the end on gigantic limb because that you, Kahn Jr.! girlfriend lose, girlfriend no much longer my son!PEGGY: Luanne! Quarters!!!PEGGY: I"m sorry, little Jeffrey.LUANNE: That"s Bobby.PEGGY: Oh, yeah. I want to call him Jeffrey, yet some guy wouldn"t permit me.LUANNE: You average Uncle Hank?KAHN: Mom record everything on video clip camera, encompass in Harvard application.CONNIE: Dad, I"m not even in high college yet.KAHN: and you never obtain there through that attitude.HANK: Son, I understand everyone"s to be filling your head through crazy stuff, but I simply want you to understand this: Connie eliminated your frog.COACH: That"s not Olympic-style wrestling.CLARK: Nope. That"s real wrestling.CONNIE: ns wanna walk to a party school! Yeah! Chico State!HANK: Look in ~ him explode! That"s my boy!PEGGY: That"s our boy.

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